True fact: It is not easy to be single. Another true fact: It’s even harder to be single when you are in your thirties.
If you are a woman in your thirties or about to become, the pressure to be “doing something” with your life starts to raise. At this age, we already have those regular pressures of having to have our own house, car. Have a great career and to have done at least two or three big things in our lives.
Not being enough, as a woman we have an extra bit of pressure. At this age, we are supposed to be in a good relationship – or even married. With should have as a partner the man of our lives and be planning to have your kids in the next years.
Well, I am a point out of the curve, as I have done almost everything that is on this list. And I can tell you doing these things don’t make you any extra special. Believe me!
But now I’m starting all over again and I confess sometimes I give in and end up thinking if I need and want to do them.
But why we all feel this pressure?
When we become single after a long relationship all our friends start saying we need to get fucked. If we are still in love for the other person they say we need to get a rebound fuck. And they will only stop telling you these kinds of things when they see that you have started dating again.
We get pressured to get someone in the market, after all, we are in our thirties. And that list, that long list of things that we “need” to do and accomplish has now a smaller timeframe. After all, if you think about it, you are getting old, too old to do certain things. Especially if you still want to have kids.
The year is 2019 and I still can’t believe when I hear these kinds of things. And I hear this kind of thing every day.
A colleague at work constantly tells me I need to find a good man. And soon. My mom says I’m too old to have kids – even though she says “It’s not worth to have kids”. A friend from college says I need to have some company, a male company. Someone to help me to put the shelves on the wall in case I need it.
It’s so many silly and stupid reasons that people give me to go find a boyfriend that I don’t know anymore if I get angry or I simply laugh.
People need to understand
I can’t speak for the rest of the woman out there, but at least in my case I don’t need a man.
Of course I feel lonely sometimes, I won’t deny that. I miss someone to share the cold Sundays with me sitting on the sofa watching Netflix. I’m human and I like the human touch.
But I don’t need a man just because of that. Or to help me with furniture, or in order to have kids, or just to keep me company. Or for whatever other stupid reason they might think I need one.
With all the technology, all the options, and all the resources we have available in front of us we don’t need a man to do any of these things.
I can put shelves on the all alone – which I have done several times when I was still married. If I want to have kids I can go to a sperm bank and do the insemination. I know how to enjoy my own company and I don’t have a problem with that.
And in case I miss having a second person beside me I can call one of my friends. Or I get a dog!
I know what I need and what I am looking for
What I need in my life – and it doesn’t mean I need now – is a champion.
To find one is very hard. Demands time, patient and I believe a bit of luck. And during this search every detail matters.
At the end of the day if I want I can find several men available. After all, we could consider anyone who has a penis between their legs to be a man. In fact, I don’t have a penis but several people keep telling me that I act like a dude sometimes.
I had men before. I know how they work and how they behave. An right now I don’t want to be close to that.
So hell I won’t rush things or stuck myself with any guy that is less than a champion just because I have this to do “thirties list” that society wants me to finish as soon as possible.
I’m sorry but not sorry to disappoint everybody but it simply won’t happen.
And if I can’t find a champion, I prefer to stay happily single as I am now.